10 Possible Names for Jay-Z and Beyonce’s Child
By Adam Aziz
It’s the big news right now. Jay-Z and Beyonce are expecting their first child. B broke the news on the Black Carpet at the MTV Video Music Awards. This got me to thinking, what are they gonna name this little bundle of riches? Here are 10 Possible Names for Jay-z and Beyonce’s Child.
Look, Memphis Bleek has been loyal to Jay-Z since the 90s. As Jay’s hypeman, he’s probably said the words “now screeeeeam” 78,000 times over the years. The least J and B could do is name their first born after him.
Sure, naming your kid Jayonce could guarantee them a first class ticket to Maury Povich at some point…but the combo of Jay and Beyonce has a nice ring to it…plus it’s better than naming your kid ‘Apple.’
What a better way for Beyonce to say thank you to the world for making me rich and famous than to name her first child after a long lost group member that nobody remembers! LaTavia Roberson was a founding member of Destiny’s Child and I’m pretty sure now works at a Waffle House. Whatever Jay and Bey name their child is going to instantly become a hugely popular name…why not give LaTavia something to smile about?
“Me and the boy AI got more in common/Than just ballin and rhymin get it, more in Carmen/I came in your bentley backseat, skeeted in your jeep/Left condoms on your baby seat”
The beef between Nas and Jay-Z was a heated affair. One of the shining moments was when Jay-Z alluded to sleeping with Nas’ baby mother, Carmen Bryan. Now I’m not sure how Beyonce would feel about this, but what about Carmen as a baby name? It’s original, you don’t hear it very often and it would be a nice nod to Nas saying “hey, thanks for being a good sport about me leaving condoms on your babyseat.”
THE ALTER EGO OPTION: SASHA
Beyonce’s alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, is all about being edgy, free and fearless. These are some serious expectations to put on a newborn but it’s an idea that might empower B’s alter-ego even more…sort of like a mini-me…or a mini-be.
THE ALTERNATE MONIKER OPTION: HOVA
First of all, the Illuminati crowd would have a field day if Jay-Z and Beyonce named their kid Hova. Can’t you see the kids on the playground chanting “Hova, Hova, Hova” like in ‘Fade To Black?’ It’s also an original name…when was the last time you met someone named Hova? Never.
THE LOST ONES OPTION: DWIGHT BILLY FIZZY CARTER
In tribute to Beanie Sigel and M.O.P., Jay and Bey could incorporate the names (and nicknames) of these lost Roc-A-Fella soldiers. When I say lost I don’t mean dead (I mean career wise, sure). Yeah the kids might make fun of the Fizzy portion of the name, but hey, as long as the kid’s grill doesn’t look like Lil’ Fame’s we’re good!
This one just makes sense. One day their daughter has a kid, someone goes “hey, who’s kid is that? And the guy goes…oh that there? That’s Destiny’s child.” WINNING!
THE DELICIOUS OPTION: PETER
Now walk with me for a minute. If Jay and Bey name their kid Peter, they could take a family photo and on the bottom of the frame write ‘PB&J.’ “Inside peanut butter, outside jelly.” Delicious…and AWESOME!
I completely agree, seeing a 2 year-old named Otis would just be weird. It’s one of those names that only work after the age of 50 when you’re on the porch yelling at kids to get off your lawn. Still, how cool would it be to meet a baby named Otis? Plus, one day people might call him ‘Uncle Otis’…he would already have his own theme song!